Getting Over Oscar

It's been three weeks now since we had to say goodbye forever to our beloved cat Oscar. My grief has not really manifested itself how I expected. Instead of bawling my eyes out at the slightest thing; two food bowls, not three; an empty space on the sofa etc. I've simply got on with my life. At least that's what I thought. 
  However, two things in my life changed, both of which affected my health badly until I recognised the cause. The first was most easily identifiable. I kept myself busy to the point of exhaustion by going out the house. I know my limits. Going out, be it into town, (and Crook isn't big!) or a little further a field, I can usually manage twice a week but anymore is just too much. It was only when I physically had to stop from pain and exhaustion that I looked at why I had put myself through all that. I didn't want to be in a house without Oscar.
  The second, more difficult to identify form of my grief came in the form of my epilepsy. I started to have mychlonic jerks.These are muscle spasms sometimes accompanied by a brief loss of consciousness, and often strong enough to knock me off my feet. The odd thing about these was that I was having them at exactly the same time every day, ever since we lost Oscar. At first we thought they were being caused by new painkillers interacting with other tablets. It made sense. I was taking them at the same time of day as I was having the jerks.However that theory went to pot when I came off the tablets and the jerks continued. It was then that I sat down and took stock of what was going on. I was having the jerks when I would normally be giving Oscar his first dose of medication and sitting with him for a while. We had missed the biggest trigger of all for my epilepsy: Stress. I sat down with Michael and told him what I thought. He seemed a little sceptical at first but had to admit that the timing and everything fitted but we couldn't think of a solution. However it seemed we didn't have to. The following day I didn't have any jerks. Or the next. Or the next. Or the next. Or the next....... It seems that identifying and acknowledging my grief has helped to stop it from translating itself into a bad thing that could potentially be harmful to my health.

Halloween etc.

I don't normally like Halloween, kids knocking on your door wanting money, most of them not old enough to be allowed out by themselves anyway. This year though when my God Daughter, Angel, (pictured right) turned up on my doorstep, aged 2wks off 2yrs dressed as a witch, I was delighted. She was with her mum, of course, and one of the few Halloweener's that ever make an effort to dress up, (other than buying a cheap mask and try and scare people witless with it). "Happy Halloween" were her prompted words, much friendlier than the usual "Trick or Treat". She had a little bag full of sweeties, which she was so happy with. 

I visited my Godson, Thomas, (pictured right) on Monday, only to find him a poorly little boy. I had brought Halloween cakes up for him and his sister Jessica, who was at school, but it was clear that Mummy or Daddy, (probably Daddy! Sorry Glen) would be eating his. I really felt for Thomas. At 18mnths it must be hard to understand the feeling of being sick. Hopefully he will return to his happy little self very soon.

Having no children of our own my God Children are very important to me. We hope to have children in the future but I hope that  Thomas and Angel will always be part of my life.

Just another day......

Well, It's just another day. I don't feel that good today. Feel like I'm running on empty and have done all day. Hubby's gone into town so I'm all on my lonesome, feel the loss of Oscar even more today, he'd be on the couch with me by now. :(
My friend, Jess, bought my 4 week old Godson up to see me yesterday. Hayden Lee, that really gave me a boost. There's something about that little life, so reliant on us, yet his little face so determined.... and no he wasn't just filling his nappy!! I guess all life has it's cycle, its beginning and ending and we are just here as long as time and God permits.

Oscar's Sonnet

CAT UNIQUE

His silky coat is nothing like before
On His chest His fur is soft as down
As He sits, He washes each perfect paw
His nose, His chin, His beautiful crown.
White bits always white; black bits always black;
Completely clean; nose to tail; front to black.
A small black patch beneath His little grin
Like God had splashed a paint spot on His chin.

The tear in His ear shows a battle scar
Which He wears with pride as the fields He roams,
His territory does not stretch very far
And He'll never wander miles from home.

As Every Other one who loves their own
My love for Cat Unique is mine alone.

A Cat Unique

My beloved cat Oscar Wilde died on Saturday. He was two months off twenty, so he'd had a long and happy life. My husband, Michael, and I loved him so very much and will miss him terribly. Leo, one of our two other cats already seems to particularly miss him. He is more affectionate and wants to be with us all the time. His sister, Frankie, doesn't seem that bothered though.
  Oscar was a wonderful friend to me all my life, a constant who was always there, even if we did trip over him quite a lot! He certainly was a Cat Unique!

Not exclusive to ME Fighters!!

Just to say this blog is for anyone to post their views and comments and share any little anicdotes with us! Pictures, jokes, anything is welcome, we all need a pick me up every now and again!

Hi People!

Well this is new to me, but this is a place for anyone trying, whether successfully or not, to live a life with ME. (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis). One day I'll learn to say that word!!
  I was diagnosed with ME in June 2009 but I believe I was suffering from it much earlier, it just went undetected because I have Epilepsy and any ME like symptoms were associated to the medication I was already taking. However it was only when my whole body finally gave in, in March 2009 that ME was finally suggested.
  Since then I've tried going to an ME clinic (useless, though I'd like your views of clinics in your area), ME groups arranged by the clinics (much the same as the clinics) and now I'm more a less learning myself what is best for my body by trial and error.
  At the moment I'm having a relapse but I'm hoping that it won't last much longer, I know now that it is just a relapse and I will come out the other side with a smile on my face even if it takes months. The power of Positive Thinking! So let me know how your all getting on!